I felt like I was trying to watch porn through the eyes of a blind man, pairing sounds with actions. When I stepped inside the shoot-house earlier that day, sex noises resonated off the marble floors and white walls of the rented mansion’s many rooms. “Good,” she said, “Don’t make me regret this.” Stormy obviously had an eye for talent, even if that talent happened to be tucked snuggly beneath my skinny jeans. I’d been preparing for this moment my entire life with marathon masturbation sessions and endless hours of tweezing my man-bush into a camera-ready, bonsai-style shrubbery. “Do you want to be in a scene with Asa Akira?” Stormy Daniels asked me on the set of her latest pair of feature films for Wicked: “Getting Cozy” and “Girls’ Night.”
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